I have been sucked into the black of hole of texting with a potential date for the last time. Online dating would surely send me to a therapist's office before it actually produced the result I was hoping for. If I ever met this guy in person, I’d surely ask him for a thumb massage.
Like many, I signed up for the quest of love and a (very) serious long-term relationship only to find myself continually fatigued from texting. DELETE.
My relationships have made me realize, I am not as strong as I think I am. Through the immense joys and upheavals that is inevitably part of loving someone besides yourself, I have come to realize---I am tender hearted...and I hate it.
“Be kind to your heart,” she said to me several times, as an equal, a mentor and woman who was once broken-hearted too. Until that moment, I thought I had been.
There is a surge in holiday hook-ups every year from November to February. For singles it often starts at the end of summer with a rush to find someone before we are inundated with family and holiday social events where everyone is inevitably paired off or married. With hoards of people getting off work for the holidays there is plenty of time to date, be with your mate and even take a vacation. The combination of social pressure and time makes for perfect "time-to-find-a-mate" scenario.
What if a person wrote, “Whites only”, “No Asians” or “No Blacks” on their dating profile? I had a Mulatto friend who told me they were asked out on a date after being told he looked white enough.
Would that be considered sexually racist?
There are several dating sites like wherewhitepeoplemeet.com, asiansingles.com, or blackpeoplemeet.com for those that prefer a specific ethnicity. But if we are on a site that welcomes and encourages all ethnicities at what point are statements like, “No chinks” no longer a preference but are in fact racist.
The search for "the one" can be an arduous task. For some people it happens in a moment, "I knew she was the one the moment I laid eyes on her." For others it feels like we're stuck in our version of the story of Sisyphus who was punished to repeatedly roll a huge boulder up a hill only to watch it come back down and hit him again and again.
Happiness is the ultimate game of hide-n-seek and most of us believe if we can just find the one, the person of our dreams, the ultimate relationship and love of our loves...then we'll be happy.